Barely slp

Just 5 hours+ slp and seems like I can't get back to bed.. Maybe I will slp later

Emo is the best time to blog

Lol. Yeah.. Emoing.. Trying to sleep since 11.30.. And now is 1.16am

Went through my blogs.. Was hoping to find something there which I didn't. That day was a chirpy diary..

Started all this emo stuff when was on the car.. U are right.. You don't have to handle my emotional when you already got tons of sch work.. I totally agree.. 收拾了心情，不要再转牛角尖了！is it not because I don't trust you.. Is too many things in my life that makes me feels that marriages doesn't secure relationship. I can't build a trust with anyone.. Even for you.. Weird

Getting married in less than 2 mths time.. I am pretty sure of my decision.. I wanna get married to you.. But ain't too sure why this negative feeling is always so overwhelming.. Maybe because Rachel left.. Maybe because my dad don't comes home anymore. Is hard to believe that anyone will stay forever with anyone.. Is really hard.. But! You can't be worrying about things that didn't happen. And bloody hell that's what I am doing. I am worrying about things that hasn't happen.. And this kind of worrying doesn't helps in anything. It just seems to be I am a emoing cry baby.. Can't help it.. Lol

Yar.. I have to stop worrying about things that is not happening.. Coz it may not happen anyway.. 

I am enjoying my no work days these days.. Is really nice.. No work.. Just do my own things.. Feels good about it. :)

just a feeling that i am overwhelmed with now. this feeling had never cease for the passed 3 years. A feeling of regret that over something i shouldn't had said over msn. Had you ever had this regret that you held on for so long and could never let it go? I realized as years passed, memories stacked. some held happiness, some held grief, some held regrets. When I was packing up my table, little items triggered memories of each events. what happened? what was done? what things we missed? and what regrets we held. like i ever since wanted.. a ctrl+z

喝啤酒不是因为喜欢它的味道，而是喝了后的感觉

just tons of things happened .. definitely a tired week but it was just an AWESOME week. it is weird how feelings creep over you when everything you are busy for for the last few weeks just ended like this.. so quick.. within few hours.. after such long preparation.. the feeling just creeps within.. it chills.. firstly comes work.. the end year awesome exhibition is round the corner.. and most important thing is the brochure to be ready real soon.. my dad is really good with keeping my design speed to his pace as he pace me accordingly before he leave Singapore. Brochure is done.. preparing ever since sept.. and now its on the way printing! ahhh.. one thing settle.. now i m still lack of invitation cards.. envelope.. new year card.. ahhhhhhhh secondly was our dear dad 60th birthday..as he was leaving Singapore for tour on 26th to the 4th of Nov.. there is no way we could celebrate his birthday on 2nd of Nov itself.. So it all started on the 6th of October when we siblings realize the dad we can have our chalet is only on the 22nd of Oct.. before dad fly.. and a weekend and most people can join us! I was glad and proud of myself making the baby step! I booked the chalet!! lol.. although it was really expensive.. but i didnt care so much la.. just book first.. anyway we were already so last min.. what better chalet can we expect? so it comes to food.. invitation list.. logistic.. decoration.. cakes.. i just love my siblings.. we delicate the task out and all was done splendidly. food my sis took care most of it.. catering.. BBQ.. wings marinated by both bro and sis.. topshell by rachel.. and me.. order satay and otah! lol .. the cake was awesome! I was like.. 'hey.. lets have a shou tao cake for dad! like hugh shou tao..' rach..' but that will looks like pi gu... big pi gu.. hahaha.. ' korkor 'yea.. pi gu.. pi gu sounds cute.. hahah' '.. ..' rach.. looking at facebook pic of the chef who make beautiful cakes.. 'wah.. see see.. her cakes so pretty!' kor .. saw a picture of car.. ' do jade rock for him la.. me.. ' do him standing on a bolder and looking with torch!.. rach.. 'haha.. you all must be kidding me.' korkor sketch.. i sketch.. rach too a pic.. and tadah was the cake! lol awesome cake and awesome cupcakes too.. the best part of the party was dad was surprised and all we wanted him to know.. he is loved... by all of us.. we love him SO much. thank you dad for everything you taught us and is going to teach us.. love ya lots!! and then 2 days from then comes the MJ tournament.. i can see zm.. kelvin.. jon.. bibi.. all put in so much effort to make it happen.. the videos.. not to leave out the editing crew.. anglica.. derek and me! the video put together looks pretty awesome and i m glad people enjoy it! it was cool that they even rehearse for the ppt which give introduction of the players. i dun really know the freshies .. but they are pretty nice people.. hehe.. i enjoy sitting outside with ah fang and watching jingda doing the interview.. it was hilarious.. waiting for the video to come out! haha.. zm is just a ai yan.. he is just acting non stop.. playing mj with them is so entertaining! haha just cant stop laughing! events ended and life continues.. hl stuck with rushing his essay.. and i gave up my sat off for a wed off.. back to work now.. love the week.. love the event.. love meeting awesome people.. =) cheers!

我相信每个人心理都有心结，可能到离开这世上的那一天都打不开。 身为儿女的，对父母也只有两个心愿；一是希望他们健康、二是开心。 我还要要求些什么呢？ 我要珍惜还在我身旁的，怀念已经离开的。

Wondering are there still people popping by this blog these days.. mixture feelings of want and don't want Maybe more to don't want la.. den i can freely blog what-so-ever and ain't afraid of anyone gonna see this. I saw him at gym yesterday. The feeling was weird.. I was very much hoping he won't see me.. but i ended up saying hi to him.. cause i tot it was only polite to. So went back to shop yesterday night.. Me and rach chat so much.. I think we slept at 3am.. about our most love.. about her marriage.. about our feelings.. It feels good there is a channel for release.. it feels good talking all about it again.. I forgot alot.. me as usual.. bad memory.